MINUTES OF COUNCIL MEETING
PRICKLY TERRACE
CONDOMINIUMS - STRATA
January 29 @ 10:00 AM
Opening:
The meeting was called
to order at 9:50 a.m., 10 minutes before its official start, as Mrs. Nyetinski
had been up since 5 because of the incessant hum of Mr. Hobgoblin’s fish tank
two floors above her bedroom, and the fizzing sound next door of Mrs.
Gabberton’s dentures as they soaked in their cleansing liquid overnight.
Agenda:
The following items
were added to the agenda:
a) Request Owner #205
for approval for renovation of kitchen;
b) Request Owner #309
for exemption of rental restriction due to hardship;
c) Request executrix
of the estate of late owner #201 to postpone strata fee payments until sale of property;
d) Request Owner #203
for reiteration of residency regulations;
e) Resignation Mr.
Fergus Hobgoblin from Council.
In order to facilitate
the requests of the owner of unit #205, Council invited her to speak. Mrs.
Ardbaul described the planned renovation of her kitchen, which included an
additional electrical outlet for a toaster oven. Mrs. Nyetinski noted that she
has never had need of a toaster oven. Mrs. Ardbaul said that since she is now
only cooking for one, she often dines on toasted bread, sometimes topped with
melted cheese. Mrs. Nyetinski said that bread was not nutritious and that some
countries are thinking of banning it. She added that she would call a community
health nurse to visit Mrs. Ardbaul and educate her in the joys of cooking for
one in a healthful manner. Mrs. Ardbaul responded that if Mrs. Nyetinski did
so, she would see her in hell. Council approved the renovation, except for the
additional electrical outlet.
Council received a
request from the owner of unit #309 for an exemption of the rental restriction
due to hardship. Mrs. Umlaut said she had lost most of her savings in a Ponzi
scheme and will have to sell her unit, but wishes to wait until it is likely to
get a fair price. She would like to rent it out, which she acknowledged
contravenes strata rules. After 30 years here, Mrs. Umlaut will be moving in
with her daughter in Abbotsford. Mrs. Nyetinski said she hoped this wasn’t the
daughter who was an unwed mother of six, whose numerous unkempt boyfriends have
often shown up with her and her brood at Prickly Terraces, reeking of smoke and
impending disaster. Mrs. Umlaut said “Berniece, trust you to bring that up. Why
don’t you mind your own G.D. business?” Based on the information provided,
Council could not justify an exception to the no-rental rule.
Council received the
request of the executrix of the estate of Mrs. Kyd (unit #201), to postpone the
payment of strata fees until the sale of the property. Mrs. Nyetinski noted
that if the deceased had not been so free and easy with her money when alive,
donating to every last hare-brained charity and putting up every derelict Don
Juan and ruptured relative she’d ever had, she would have had plenty of savings
to pay her strata fees years after her demise. In the best interest of all
strata property owners, she said, Council cannot entertain this request.
Management will convey this decision to Mrs. Kyd’s daughter/executrix by
telephone, if she still has one post-bankruptcy.
Council received a
request from Mrs. Nyetinski of #203 that prospective residents of Prickly
Terraces provide birth certificates proving that they are 55 or older before purchasing
a unit. Mrs. Nyetinski noted that she has occasionally detected the faint thud
of rock’n’roll music in the building post-8 p.m., long after residents in the
sanctioned age group have retired. Council reserves the right to evict if its
rules are flouted. Absolutely no Guess Who will be tolerated.
Council received a
resignation letter from Mr. Fergus Hobgoblin, which it must accept with regret.
Fergus has been a well-respected member of Council and will be greatly missed,
as will the homemade bread and jam he always brought to meetings, and the
homemade wine he has provided for countless strata functions to rave reviews. Mr.
Hobgoblin is now fully aware that it is against strata policy to post any photo
of a Prickly Terraces resident – Mrs. Nyetinski or otherwise -- in the
elevator, and it is expressly forbidden to attach to it a supply of darts.
Status
of Projects:
Building
Cleaning: Mrs. Nyetinski has recommended that
Council pay for an upgrade to the eyeglasses of the building’s cleaner. She has
spotted dust on the sconces in the emergency stairway and inside her own
mailbox on at least three occasions and notes that dust is an allergen to which
she is particularly susceptible. According to Mrs. Nyetinski, the fact that the
cleaner uses a walker since her stroke should not prevent her from reaching
into corners with the feather duster purchased for her in 2003. Nevertheless,
Council has provided funds for an extension to the duster, which will be
deducted in quarterly increments from the cleaner’s pay. Mrs. Nyetinski has
pledged to conduct inspections to ensure that sconces and mailboxes remain
dust-free on her twice-daily patrols of Prickly Terraces.
Garbage
Area: Tests are being done to establish the
size of the required replacement bin. Mrs. Nyetinski once had ambitions to be
an architect and says she will scrupulously measure the space allotted for
garbage and construct a biodegradable model to present to Council at the next
meeting, February 27th at 10 a.m.
Social
Meeting: On February 14th at 3 p.m. a Valentine’s
Day social will be held in the meeting room. Since Mr. Hobgoblin has indicated
that he is no longer willing to provide refreshments, Mrs. Nyetinski will be
knocking on the door of every unit except Mr. Hobgoblin’s to request the
donation of healthful snacks. Please note that Mrs. Nyetinski does not eat
gluten or dairy and is uncomfortable with others eating them in her presence;
she is also personally opposed to sugar. She will be playing the piano, a hobby
she took up last week, and would be most appreciative if residents who are
better-versed in the instrument don’t shove her out of the way and insist on
playing themselves. Also be advised that Mrs. Nyetinski will take no requests.
(These notes compiled by Mr. Herbert Nyetinski, Secretary.)
